Pine Cliffs Residence

I’m gobsmacked this hotel is still flaunted as a 5 star. There is nothing 5 star about it; from the dated rooms to the tatty sunloungers and the fact there’s no pool waiters to name just a few of my basic issues. You have to collect your own towels from a hut and battle for your sun-loungers every morning- unless you’d like to sit on the grass area in the shade- plenty of those which is no good if you want some atmosphere or need to watch your children near the water. If you want food or drink in the daytime don’t expect any pool staff to come to you, you must walk to wherever you want food and drink from and queue to order, sometimes for 30minutes in the heat. The hotel is far too oversubscribed for the restaurants and bars onsite. The food is mediocre at best. If you’re going to the main restaurant for breakfast get there before 9am and sit outside for a nice experience. If you’re unfortunate enough to be put inside be prepared for carnage, making your own coffee, on our last morning I even found a hair within the bread. The pool and beach toilets are grubby and need atleast a good lick of paint on the doors and walls, and a lock! On top of that they’re rarely clean, wet toilet roll all over the floors, those old school roll of linen towel you pull to dry your hands, very unhygienic. The beach loungers are also tired. I felt I was sat on a public beach with the touters coming up and down all day trying to sell stuff. Again you have to go to the beach restaurant yourself for food and drink; not the staffs fault as they’re overrun by guests but if I did ask to order from our loungers you could see this was an inconvenience for them, which is fine had I not paid what I did to come to what is supposed to be a 5 star luxury resort. The lifts are always dirty, the mirrors smeared in peoples sweat and oil from leaning on them all day. The pool areas don’t have designated cleaners and the pool bar staff are busy so a lot of days there were discarded ketchup sachets and takeaway rubbish all over the floors, cigarettes left in plastic cups next to sunloungers etc. Your drinks will always be served in a picnic type plastic cup too so no leaving it on the side as it will tip over in the breeze. There’s some fantastic ‘glass style’ plastic goblets these days- most hotels use those in pool areas- not Pine Cliffs. Staff just walk on by and leave disregarded litter; guests that created the mess not respecting other guests enough to move it themselves. My list could go on and on, this is just my first draft without even thinking too much about it. Don’t pay extra to reserve beds at the beach, they’re all old and as battered as the other two rows of free loungers and you still don’t get service to your bed. We visited the Japanese restaurant on our third night and walking up there I felt so much hope for a luxury experience as it looks the part. I have never had a meal so rushed in my life! Within minutes they wanted our order, I’d barely had time to pick a cocktail. Before I knew it 2 of us had been served €300 worth of food and the table was there’s to have back within 56 minutes! I felt so sick because even though we had tried to eat slowly they were coming trying to collect plates before we had even finished. I very rarely leave reviews but I would absolutely hate for others to book here thinking they will have the best time. I booked a double/twin but then contacted the hotel to request it was made up as a twin as I was travelling with my teenage son. On arrival I checked again to be told it’s a double and they wouldn’t change our room. There’s also no mini bar in the rooms. Some days we didn’t receive fresh water bottles, some days we did. When we got upto the room we had also been put in a disabled room so the toilet and shower weren’t comfortable for our stay. Housekeeping did come straight up to make the bed up with two duvets for us on our first night but it wasn’t ideal. I stayed here 13 years ago and back then I did really feel it deserved its 5 stars, I wish I’d never have booked this holiday, I’m leaving so disappointed and frankly quite cross. 5 star hotels these days have staff greeting you from your taxi, taking your case, a warm welcome, staff ensuring every inch of the hotel is clean and picture perfect, that the guests don’t have to lift a finger for themselves. Most 5star hotels have beautiful scents throughout and everything looks brand new and cared for. There is none of this here, it may sound spoilt but when you pay for it you expect it- if I wanted 4 star I would have booked that and not paid the premium I did. Two positives: The grounds are very pretty and the staff are all lovely and work hard but because the hotel is so overrun you won’t feel the benefit of that. Do better Pine Cliffs- we won’t ever return

Great place but could do better. Very expensive place. You pay a lot for the accomodation and then you need to pay for everything else. Kids Club is not included for example. Great estate but clearly understaffed. It seems you need to be a regular customer to get any consideration. when we were there, every day for 7 days, did I see people complaining. Staff did its best but management clearly is not supportive. Nice to see once but way better value for money in Middle East and Asia. A pity as the place is really nice.